The Eyes of Rasputin

I feel myself sinking, being drawn into the dark unknown. His luminous eyes enslave my heart, feeding upon my will and fulfilling my most secret desires. A power stronger than any I've ever known beakons to me, tempts and seduces me, offering eternal life and satisfaction beyond my wildest dreams. Glowing, hypnotic, sensual orbs, caressing my soul and feverishly arousing my most primal urges. I melt into the eyes of the arch-fiend, supremely evil, disguised by a holy facade. He radiates sexual power, drowning me in his delicious aura. His touch is a tantalyzing taste of unparalelled ecstacy. Shockwaves of desire pulse within me. He sets my body on fire, our skin ablaze and burning with profane hunger. I gaze into the eyes of he who deceives all. Who survived poison and bullets and fire, who was called a "Holy Devil". I am held prisoner by the eyes of Rasputin.

My Own Sickness (inspired by my 16th year on this planet...)
Lying alone in the land of pain, I search for the light of day. Misery is now all that remains, this is the price I pay. Joy and laughter was a sin, the sickness was always here within. Why must I always be so low? Will my true face ever glow? The white of death, its ashy gray is all I know and see today. I pray and hope for better times, but I'm not one of life's eternal rhymes. So I just sigh and face the night, and dream of daytime's sweet delight. When will life discover me? When the others cease to be...

Why can't I love you?
I can't explain why I intoxicate you..
you gaze in my eyes, and I know it's true..
You adore me, but I always knew..
You can love me, but I can't love you.
You give me everything that I desire
I touch your skin, and it sparks like a fire
But your soul couldn't take me higher..
You're not the one I will ever desire..
Why can't I love you? What am I doing wrong?
Why can't I hear your beautiful song?
Serenading me in the midnight sun, eager feelings have begun,
but I just can not see it through.. I don't know why, but I can't love you.

Who Are You Going To Be Tonight?

Maestro

Night drapes her haunting veil across the sky
As children of the dark come out to play
Yet one who's all alone lets out a sigh
and chooses to renounce the dark for day.
He saw a shrouded angel dressed in black
whose eyes enslaved his devil-weary soul
For though she seemed quite likely to attack,
Without her love he never would be whole.
The shrouded angel gazed upon his face
and for the very first time in her life
Her once-black heart began to swell and race
the sudden longing cut her like a knife.
They guard the gates of hell just one more night
But in the morning, take their final flight.

Dying, Fading, Disappearing

I sit alone inside my heart
I watch my hopes and dreams depart.
My frozen tears fall slow and cold
back through the years and days of old.
A gentle touch, a gentle smile
Though I'm silent all the while.
A drying rose, a mourner's sigh,
"She'll find repose" I hear them cry
Some of them cry, some of them frown
They lower me into the ground.
I watch them pray, I watch them weep
My memory they'll always keep.

THE PIRATE AND THE TIME MACHINE

A high adventure on the seven sees
was all that he expected on this trip
But Pirate Captain fell down to his knees
A time machine appeared upon his ship.

Out stepped a learned doctor with a grin,
and Pirate Captain knew not what to do.
"Give it a try," he said, "go on, step in!
and it will show you things you never knew!"

So Pirate Captain asked the doctor this:
"What be that odd contraption on my deck?"
The doctor answered "are there souls you miss?
With this contraption, you can save their neck!"

"Go back in time, my friend, and save your crew!"
The learned doctor answered with a smile.
"And then return to now, that's all you do!"
The Pirate Captain stared on in denial.

The learned doctor forced him in the door,
and leapt inside before it locked itself.
His elbow hit the opposite of "Before"
and to the future they sped off in stealth.

The Pirate Captain opened up the door
and found himself upon a crowded street.
Abound was every kind of theif and whore,
scoundrels and liars everywhere to meet.

"Now pirates rule the world?" The captain asked.
The learned doctor had a look of fright.
"I suddenly recalled I have a task,"
The learned doctor vanished in the night.

The pirate captain walked away in glee
For this was life as it was meant to be!

Dream of Life and Death

A gasp, a breath, emergence from the black suspended sea.
There lies a newborn angel's corpse swarming with flies,
surrounded by broken glass, under a rotting cypress tree.
A human child is born; it breathes, it gasps, it dies.
But now miraculous ressurection... a gasp, a breath, emergence to the light.

Frozen

Freezing, the painful constriction attacks without pity. Invading my burning lungs, sending my heart to its final arrest. Uncontrollable shivers, this numbing cold burns my skin. Like quicksand, I sink beneath the snow. Like a glass cage, I'm trapped within the ice.
The cuts have stopped bleeding, red icicles hang shimmering and glittering from my fingertips.
Vision distorted, gazing blankly out of my foggy, translucent, shining blue window.
My eyes have grown so hard... unable to blink or close or shed a single tear.
They bled for a while, but now all is still, silent, pristine, beautiful and strange.
The sun goes down, I see the brilliant colors change.
Across the millennia I stand the same, no rotting or atrophy touches me here.
Frozen in time... frozen in ice.

Unwilling Ghost

Beautiful silent surrender I crave,
I sit on the stone, looking down at my grave.
Whoever said death gave a soul sweet repose
is a bumbling fool, shows what he knows...
The mourners all visit me, LEAVE ME ALONE!
If you call me like this, I can never go home.
Heaven awaits me, so far, yet so close...
Just let my soul rest, I'm an unwilling ghost.

The Suicide

She stands upon the edge of everything, overcome with silent emotion... Dressed in a black wedding dress, she clutches twelve dying roses in her trembling hands. The thorns caress those delicate hands, tracing little red lines on their surface. Her red-rimmed, glassy eyes shine in the light of a thousand stars. Tears of joy? Tears of remembrance? Or tears for what lies ahead? Sometimes she cries... "I'll show them all."

Five minutes to impact. The ground looks so close, but it's so very far away. Unseen in the audience of silver mist gathering to watch.

Three minutes to impact. The water looks so clear and shimmering, a breathless iridescent blue, but it's so very black and deep, so cold and murky.

Two minutes to impact. The last doubt flows softly down her pallid cheek. The fall looks so short, but it's really so very long... So long.

One minute to impact. One minute left to suffer. Sixty painful seconds slip by slowly, a thousand agonizing memories cut deeply into her heart... throat... wrists... Pain flows down in heavy streams, crimson red, flowing like the black water beneath that bridge.

Two minutes past impact. But nothing's changed. Dying was not as glamorous as all the old poems said it would be. There's no tunnel of holy white light. No choirs of singing angels. No legions of screaming devils. All that remains is the pain... only the pain that refuses to go away.

Now she has no escape, the pain that she despised, tried to escape through death, is her last gift from a disappointed God.  Dying was not an escape. Like the alluring Venus Flytrap, has ensnared yet another nameless victim.

Dedication to Charles Manson

I come to him and melt into his arms.
A slave to his embraces and his charms.
"It's been a while since I've seen you here."
He caresses me and takes away my fear.
"I order you kill that man today."
Yes... I will do it, anything you say.
You gaze through me with eyes that burn my soul,
and only with your touch do I feel whole.
They call you Jesus, Satan, and insane-
Accusing you of crimes... I feel your pain.
That sensuous and soft voice draws me in...
you kiss me deep and slow, tasting my sin.
I'm crucified to you with love and fear-
but only love you whisper in my ear.
I feel your breath, and shivers thrill my spine,
"When I get out of prison, you'll be mine."
I suddenly awaken from this dream-
but dreams can be so real; or so they seem.

Let There Be Light

His eyes are empty holes, as lifeless as a black, sunless universe.

I tried to understand him once, but found I was alone when I was with him.

An ocean of darkness floods his every spoken word.

A blood-soaked vision of his sin keeps the evil inside him. No spark of light can ever survive in that eternal midnight. He gave me a slow, cold kiss; when he pulled away, my lips were caked with frost. Just seconds before he died last week,

he smiled at me for the very first time.

"Thank you." He said, bringing the eager black pistol in contact with his forehead.

The supernova exploded at last... let there be light.